Diary of My Eye Disease Treatment
Day Four
© Jennifer Gutierrez
JENNIFER | SEPTEMBER 13, 2014 2:33PM JST
Today, I was woken up at 6:00am to get a blood test. I had it drawn right at my bedside. The nurse asked me how I was feeling and I told her I was fine. She left and soon the intercom announced that we should take our temperatures. That was at 7:00. I shifted in bed trying to snooze a bit longer, but who am I kidding. Before long, I was up brushing my teeth and walking to the eating area.
Breakfast Time!
The breakfast was quite good this morning. I tend to take pictures of my lunch, but I decided, why not take a picture of this too? I sat with Aya and Yurie and exchanged some words. We spoke about various subject matters, one of them being about the food we were consuming. It started off with me asking Aya what the dressing on the carrots and asparagus was. She said white sesame, which in Japanese is 白ごま (shiro goma). It was nice to know that. Then Aya added that she loves sesame, including the smell of it when she cooks it. We spoke about her love for books as well. She enjoys reading very much and I also confessed the same affair plus writing as well as listening to music. With those three forms of entertainment, I am set and happy go lucky. She taught me how to say, “I have different kinds/genres of books” in Japanese. いろいろなほんもています。How do you pronounce that? Iroiro na hon moteimas. At least I am getting some Japanese down. That was one of my goals prior to coming here. I may not be doing it as often as I would like to, but a few words here and there can add up to something, right?
Today, I was woken up at 6:00am to get a blood test. I had it drawn right at my bedside. The nurse asked me how I was feeling and I told her I was fine. She left and soon the intercom announced that we should take our temperatures. That was at 7:00. I shifted in bed trying to snooze a bit longer, but who am I kidding. Before long, I was up brushing my teeth and walking to the eating area.
Breakfast Time!
The breakfast was quite good this morning. I tend to take pictures of my lunch, but I decided, why not take a picture of this too? I sat with Aya and Yurie and exchanged some words. We spoke about various subject matters, one of them being about the food we were consuming. It started off with me asking Aya what the dressing on the carrots and asparagus was. She said white sesame, which in Japanese is 白ごま (shiro goma). It was nice to know that. Then Aya added that she loves sesame, including the smell of it when she cooks it. We spoke about her love for books as well. She enjoys reading very much and I also confessed the same affair plus writing as well as listening to music. With those three forms of entertainment, I am set and happy go lucky. She taught me how to say, “I have different kinds/genres of books” in Japanese. いろいろなほんもています。How do you pronounce that? Iroiro na hon moteimas. At least I am getting some Japanese down. That was one of my goals prior to coming here. I may not be doing it as often as I would like to, but a few words here and there can add up to something, right?
© 2014 Jennifer Gutierrez
Back to Breakfast
I almost forgot to give details on what was on the tray. 本日 (pronounced honjitsu) means 'Today.' I had soup with radish and onions, white rice, cubed eggs, asparagus and small pieces of carrots dressed in grounded white sesame accompanied with drinkable grape yogurt. I cannot complain, the food here is pretty delicious. Normally, hospital food in the states can be bland and unappetizing, but although our food is low on sodium, it is flavorful. That's good enough for me.
While sitting at the table shortly after ending my meal, the nurse approached me with the anesthetic sticker. Another day, another injection. What can I say? I headed to my room and took my meds. As I wrote on yesterday’s diary, I won’t have an IV plugged into my arm today. I had them for three days, now a 4-day break, then back to three days.
I almost forgot to give details on what was on the tray. 本日 (pronounced honjitsu) means 'Today.' I had soup with radish and onions, white rice, cubed eggs, asparagus and small pieces of carrots dressed in grounded white sesame accompanied with drinkable grape yogurt. I cannot complain, the food here is pretty delicious. Normally, hospital food in the states can be bland and unappetizing, but although our food is low on sodium, it is flavorful. That's good enough for me.
While sitting at the table shortly after ending my meal, the nurse approached me with the anesthetic sticker. Another day, another injection. What can I say? I headed to my room and took my meds. As I wrote on yesterday’s diary, I won’t have an IV plugged into my arm today. I had them for three days, now a 4-day break, then back to three days.
© 2014 Jennifer Gutierrez
The Eye Injection
I received my eye injection and again, the insertion wasn’t painful. The doctor wiped the area, administered the medicine and covered it again. They left, I held it and noticed that in previous diary entries I forgot to mention something else. Aside from the sudden headaches that emerge on the same side of my injection, it feels as though a mallet is firmly pressing down on that section of my face. Not to forget the sting that comes with it. Other than that, it wasn’t as bad. It is becoming a habitual process so I might as well get used to it.
Dad
My dad called again to make sure all is under control. I wrote the first article to this diary series in Spanish for all of my family members who can’t read English. I did it mainly, because my dad has been staying in touch with me and I want to fill him in on my daily routine the same way I fill you in with details. For those people who do not know, my dad lives in Dominican Republic. He is in his retirement age so he cannot work. The least I can do is stay in touch with him, be nice and that fulfills me.
For a long time, I expected life to be a certain way when I came to establishing a father-daughter relationship. I think many of us do when we are told it should pan out a certain way. However, I was wrong. I had to reconstruct it in a way that worked for us and he has been working with me on doing that. We learn from each other to accept each other the way that we are. Letting go of the past, especially in my case, can be a tumultuous process, but I have allowed that to fly past me. My happiness means more to me than what occurred years ago and how others lived their lives.
~Random Feeling~
I love you all!
Eye Check-Up
I received my daily eye check-up and there were no changes, but no difficulties either. They usually ask me if my stomach hurts, but I am okay. That was a quick visit. And off we go...
Auntie Clara and Uncle Juan
Just got a text from my aunt, so I will call her and see how she’s doing. [A few minutes later…] I just got off the phone with her and it was nice hearing from her. All is great on their end. They were getting ready for bed soon. I greeted my uncle and sent them my love.
A New Patient
Today a new lady who appears to be in her mid-40s was admitted and she will be sleeping in the same room I’m in. I haven’t met her yet, but I hope to have the chance to speak with her. I don’t know if she speaks any English, but we shall find out in time.
My Nephew
I was overjoyed to get a text message from my nephew. I love him so much. He worries about his future and that is brave of him to share with me. I did my best in giving him some words of encouragement. I know I can be a bit of a preacher, but I try not to be too pushy. I wish him nothing but the best in his heart, his current studies, his future university selection, his career and constant love for living and expanding. Moreover, I want him to want it for himself. He’s in his junior year in high school and university days are approaching. We had a wonderful conversation and I appreciate him for opening up to me. He has dreams and both him and I are eager for him to follow them at his pace with all his passion. He’s a strong young teenager and very intelligent. He will go far so long as he does not give up and I know he won’t. If you are reading this, I love you Joxion!
Feelings & Sharing
I have partaken on several conversations with some beautiful people in my life whom are dealing with unhappiness. There are so many trials and tribulations that we are presented with and they can be more than overwhelming.
What I have noticed that works for me is constantly reassuring myself that things are going to be okay. I love reading books, which hone in on positive reinforcement and ways in which my life can spiritually improve opposed to focusing on the negative tidbits. Living this way creates warmth for my soul. Don’t get me wrong. Things upset me from time to time. I’m human; I’m not made of steel. Nonetheless, I would just rather create a positive circle that protects my feelings and releases what doesn't belong in my presence. Yet, the more I allow my spirit and being to feel as light as a feather during the larger part of my days, the more infused I am with serenity. I have come to find out that the more appreciative I am, I mean truly thankful for my life and everything in it, the more relieved every part of me is. It is difficult to describe, but it merely is.
My end goal within my soul is to just be, extend my love to others and enjoy my freedom to feel the wonders of life. At times we hold back our feelings because we are so afraid that someone might take advantage of us or that we might lose control of our persona, our strength or our power. I have definitely been there and fall into that hell. I have carried so many past problems into my present and now I am channeling better energy to remove that. I am more powerful and I love and can be me without fear.
Giving
The more I give without expecting anything in return, the more untroubled and pleased I am. We sometimes think that we aren’t the ‘expecting’ type. However, when an issue arises, that expectations make their way into our thoughts and change our demeanor. I still find myself doing this with friends and family. It is a battle, but it is not their responsibility to manage the way I feel. It is solely mine. The more I cater to myself yet respect others regardless of what they do or don’t do for me, the better my heart functions. I am not sure how I have gotten into this topic. Perhaps because I am passionate about life and I have spoken to some dear family members. I have learned not judge. Instead, I learn from what is presented to me since it has something to do with me. It is healing to me when they want to hear what I have learned and are open to apply it. Yet, it feels just as satisfying if they follow their own path to their own blissful freedom without my advice.
Our Upbringing
We are placed on this earth to coexist, to love, to be who we are and to exert our beauty. What I took from author Don Miguel Ruiz’s The 4 Agreements and The 5th Agreement is that we are not here to focus on being responsible for other people who can do and care for themselves. Our purpose in life is to be ourselves, to bring happiness into our lives and to let go of those stories we were told we should follow. Everyone has his or her own perspective of how to live life. The more we think we should do something just to honor someone else we love or loved, the higher the chance we will be stuck in someone else's way of thinking and in fulfilling someone else’s dreams rather than our own. Times change, people change and grow. It is essential to allow ourselves to bloom into what we are now, what we feel our persona is and wants to develop. We are powerful, but we have to believe that we can live moment-by-moment savoring the small things and the relationships that are here now. Not what was. Aiming to be as fully present as we can be and enjoying who we are at this moment, is essential. Opposed to looking back and cursing the inferno we were born in or grew up in, changing our outlook by thinking mainly or only about the good things that have transformed us into stronger beings today, will leave us being truly content. I am definitely not present at all times, but my aim is to remain here and now.
I received my eye injection and again, the insertion wasn’t painful. The doctor wiped the area, administered the medicine and covered it again. They left, I held it and noticed that in previous diary entries I forgot to mention something else. Aside from the sudden headaches that emerge on the same side of my injection, it feels as though a mallet is firmly pressing down on that section of my face. Not to forget the sting that comes with it. Other than that, it wasn’t as bad. It is becoming a habitual process so I might as well get used to it.
Dad
My dad called again to make sure all is under control. I wrote the first article to this diary series in Spanish for all of my family members who can’t read English. I did it mainly, because my dad has been staying in touch with me and I want to fill him in on my daily routine the same way I fill you in with details. For those people who do not know, my dad lives in Dominican Republic. He is in his retirement age so he cannot work. The least I can do is stay in touch with him, be nice and that fulfills me.
For a long time, I expected life to be a certain way when I came to establishing a father-daughter relationship. I think many of us do when we are told it should pan out a certain way. However, I was wrong. I had to reconstruct it in a way that worked for us and he has been working with me on doing that. We learn from each other to accept each other the way that we are. Letting go of the past, especially in my case, can be a tumultuous process, but I have allowed that to fly past me. My happiness means more to me than what occurred years ago and how others lived their lives.
~Random Feeling~
I love you all!
Eye Check-Up
I received my daily eye check-up and there were no changes, but no difficulties either. They usually ask me if my stomach hurts, but I am okay. That was a quick visit. And off we go...
Auntie Clara and Uncle Juan
Just got a text from my aunt, so I will call her and see how she’s doing. [A few minutes later…] I just got off the phone with her and it was nice hearing from her. All is great on their end. They were getting ready for bed soon. I greeted my uncle and sent them my love.
A New Patient
Today a new lady who appears to be in her mid-40s was admitted and she will be sleeping in the same room I’m in. I haven’t met her yet, but I hope to have the chance to speak with her. I don’t know if she speaks any English, but we shall find out in time.
My Nephew
I was overjoyed to get a text message from my nephew. I love him so much. He worries about his future and that is brave of him to share with me. I did my best in giving him some words of encouragement. I know I can be a bit of a preacher, but I try not to be too pushy. I wish him nothing but the best in his heart, his current studies, his future university selection, his career and constant love for living and expanding. Moreover, I want him to want it for himself. He’s in his junior year in high school and university days are approaching. We had a wonderful conversation and I appreciate him for opening up to me. He has dreams and both him and I are eager for him to follow them at his pace with all his passion. He’s a strong young teenager and very intelligent. He will go far so long as he does not give up and I know he won’t. If you are reading this, I love you Joxion!
Feelings & Sharing
I have partaken on several conversations with some beautiful people in my life whom are dealing with unhappiness. There are so many trials and tribulations that we are presented with and they can be more than overwhelming.
What I have noticed that works for me is constantly reassuring myself that things are going to be okay. I love reading books, which hone in on positive reinforcement and ways in which my life can spiritually improve opposed to focusing on the negative tidbits. Living this way creates warmth for my soul. Don’t get me wrong. Things upset me from time to time. I’m human; I’m not made of steel. Nonetheless, I would just rather create a positive circle that protects my feelings and releases what doesn't belong in my presence. Yet, the more I allow my spirit and being to feel as light as a feather during the larger part of my days, the more infused I am with serenity. I have come to find out that the more appreciative I am, I mean truly thankful for my life and everything in it, the more relieved every part of me is. It is difficult to describe, but it merely is.
My end goal within my soul is to just be, extend my love to others and enjoy my freedom to feel the wonders of life. At times we hold back our feelings because we are so afraid that someone might take advantage of us or that we might lose control of our persona, our strength or our power. I have definitely been there and fall into that hell. I have carried so many past problems into my present and now I am channeling better energy to remove that. I am more powerful and I love and can be me without fear.
Giving
The more I give without expecting anything in return, the more untroubled and pleased I am. We sometimes think that we aren’t the ‘expecting’ type. However, when an issue arises, that expectations make their way into our thoughts and change our demeanor. I still find myself doing this with friends and family. It is a battle, but it is not their responsibility to manage the way I feel. It is solely mine. The more I cater to myself yet respect others regardless of what they do or don’t do for me, the better my heart functions. I am not sure how I have gotten into this topic. Perhaps because I am passionate about life and I have spoken to some dear family members. I have learned not judge. Instead, I learn from what is presented to me since it has something to do with me. It is healing to me when they want to hear what I have learned and are open to apply it. Yet, it feels just as satisfying if they follow their own path to their own blissful freedom without my advice.
Our Upbringing
We are placed on this earth to coexist, to love, to be who we are and to exert our beauty. What I took from author Don Miguel Ruiz’s The 4 Agreements and The 5th Agreement is that we are not here to focus on being responsible for other people who can do and care for themselves. Our purpose in life is to be ourselves, to bring happiness into our lives and to let go of those stories we were told we should follow. Everyone has his or her own perspective of how to live life. The more we think we should do something just to honor someone else we love or loved, the higher the chance we will be stuck in someone else's way of thinking and in fulfilling someone else’s dreams rather than our own. Times change, people change and grow. It is essential to allow ourselves to bloom into what we are now, what we feel our persona is and wants to develop. We are powerful, but we have to believe that we can live moment-by-moment savoring the small things and the relationships that are here now. Not what was. Aiming to be as fully present as we can be and enjoying who we are at this moment, is essential. Opposed to looking back and cursing the inferno we were born in or grew up in, changing our outlook by thinking mainly or only about the good things that have transformed us into stronger beings today, will leave us being truly content. I am definitely not present at all times, but my aim is to remain here and now.
© 2014 Jennifer Gutierrez
Almost meal time. They usually announce lunch at ten to noon and it’s 11:44am at the moment. I’m not that hungry, but I like the consistency in eating at the same time everyday. It regulates my eating habits. Although I know all of that will change a bit since my work and meal times at home are moderately different. Anyway, let’s get some grub!
Lunch
Food was quite appetizing. Today, we had chicken, soup, rice, vegetables and apple gelatin, plus some green tea on the side. I joined the ladies whom once again welcomed me to their table. We spoke about numerous themes, as always, but nothing stuck so I don’t have much to share about it. I always like chatting and knowing more about them.
As a matter of fact, one part of me that some of you may not know is that I can be quite shy when it comes to meeting new people. I know you are probably stunned, but read me out a bit. In unfamiliar places where I have never spoken to or met any of the people in a place, I happen to sit down somewhere and remain quiet especially if most of the people keep to themselves. I feel a bit bashful and do not know how to approach situations, but not because I relate any negative feelings towards it, solely because I like to respect people's privacy and space.
I find myself studying them and whatever I can grasp from their personalities in a short time. If I think that they are interested in holding a conversation, I may exchange some words. If not, I’d rather not seem like a pest. I run with my feelings and take it from there. What I am learning here is that it is okay to approach people and strike up discussions. Evidently, it depends on the settings and what kinds of people surround us. I'm working on enjoying these times with people who I may or may not see again. It's priceless. Yeah, I know! l sound like a commercial, but it’s true.
That is all for now. As for the rest of the day, I will spend it writing. I have lots of catching up to do with my Spanish articles. I also didn't find time to read Eleven Minutes last night, but if I have time, I will get on that today. Let’s see what my heart desires.
Lunch
Food was quite appetizing. Today, we had chicken, soup, rice, vegetables and apple gelatin, plus some green tea on the side. I joined the ladies whom once again welcomed me to their table. We spoke about numerous themes, as always, but nothing stuck so I don’t have much to share about it. I always like chatting and knowing more about them.
As a matter of fact, one part of me that some of you may not know is that I can be quite shy when it comes to meeting new people. I know you are probably stunned, but read me out a bit. In unfamiliar places where I have never spoken to or met any of the people in a place, I happen to sit down somewhere and remain quiet especially if most of the people keep to themselves. I feel a bit bashful and do not know how to approach situations, but not because I relate any negative feelings towards it, solely because I like to respect people's privacy and space.
I find myself studying them and whatever I can grasp from their personalities in a short time. If I think that they are interested in holding a conversation, I may exchange some words. If not, I’d rather not seem like a pest. I run with my feelings and take it from there. What I am learning here is that it is okay to approach people and strike up discussions. Evidently, it depends on the settings and what kinds of people surround us. I'm working on enjoying these times with people who I may or may not see again. It's priceless. Yeah, I know! l sound like a commercial, but it’s true.
That is all for now. As for the rest of the day, I will spend it writing. I have lots of catching up to do with my Spanish articles. I also didn't find time to read Eleven Minutes last night, but if I have time, I will get on that today. Let’s see what my heart desires.
