Diary of My Eye Disease Treatment
Day Three
JENNIFER | SEPTEMBER 12, 2014 2:51PM JST
Early Morning
I woke up a few minutes past 5:00am to use the restroom and was certain that I would fall asleep soon after I’d return to my bed. Yet, it never fails. I begin to scroll through messages of family and friends and lose my will to close my eyes again. I continued reading the book, Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho again. I didn’t get to it yesterday, but it was just as interesting from where I left off. It seems to be getting pretty provocative. Yippee!
At 7:00
Well, I checked my temperature again. Nearly an hour later, I had veggies, rice, and yogurt for breakfast with some green tea followed by my meds. The meal was reasonably enjoyable. I had the chance to converse with Aya, the English teacher, and one of her current roommates during that time. I will name that roommate Yurie. We do not get the chance to speak, because of the language barrier, but Aya helps us out.
About Yurie - At Breakfast
Yurie’s story is a bit more complicated than mine. About three years ago, she was working as a sales clerk when she felt a cold coming along. She didn't think much of it until one day; a week or so later her body began shaking relentlessly. She ended up going home from a retail job where she had to remain standing no less than 10 hours. Regrettably, her breaks were very short and seldom. Thus, this could have affected her body to worsen. When she got home, her parents instantly took her to the hospital. After a series of tests, she found out that she had Graves’ disease. It didn’t end there. Yurie began experiencing rapid heart palpitations, which was even more frightening for her and her family. Her condition was serious and had to be treated right away. She was promptly prescribed the same medication that I am currently taking, Merkazolil or in Japanese it is known asメルカゾール (pronounced Merukazoru). While on it, her heart palpitations subsidized closer to a natural pace. Time passed and she ended up needing to remove her entire thyroid. While speaking with her (better yet Aya, the translator), I noticed she had her neck scar covered. It could have just been that she was wearing a high-collar top or the fact that she’s ashamed of her scar and keeps it hidden.
Yurie added that the nurses at the thyroid hospital, where I will be getting my surgery, aren’t as nurturing as the nurses here. That won't be something I will care much about. As long as I am taken care of and have the necessities to return to a normal condition, I will be more than happy.
After surgery, Yurie’s medication changed from Merkazolil to a hormone replacement, which she will have to take for the rest of her life. Why? Well, because the thyroid is what controls the body’s hormones. Without it, many more complications arise. Yurie’s eye complications began prior to surgery and her eyes managed to get bigger, as some patients with hyperthyroidism tend to experience. After a year or two post surgery, she returned to undergo another surgery. At times, other eye problems might surface ensuing the operation to correct any other issues. In cases like these, people’s thoughts about themselves change and their self-esteem may drop in the course of this process.
I am gazing at this experience from an outsider’s point view, not just through familiarity, but also by using an analytical mind set. From what I can see, Yurie is either shy, this sickness has affected her confidence levels or both. She’s only 31 years old and she seems to be such a sweet and innocent woman. It is possible that her self-assurance could have weakened due to these diseases. I do not know her, however, that is the impression that I have gotten. I am no professional, merely cognizant of what I see before me. I can just be assuming as well, which is not good to do. Either way, it was an observation that I wanted to disclose. It was quite nice of her to share her story. On occasion, when I see her, she has one eye patched with gauze in order to help her surgical procedure heal better. Aya also told me that the lines around the red eyes that the two of them have are the stitches that the doctors will have to remove at some point in the future. Now, I can understand what what I saw in Fumiko's eyes. That also brings me to another story Aya shared with me.
In the midst of our breakfast, Aya told me about a lady who underwent eye surgery and had to return to the doctor to get her stitches removed. The lady may have lost her patience and thought it was no big deal to take out her own stitches out. Not sure how she was able to do that, but the outcome wasn’t pretty. I don't like using contacts and to have the guts to remove eye stitches is not even in question. The lady had to return to the hospital for another surgery. I think that was somewhat inconvenient and embarrassing. Both Aya and I thought that doing that to herself just made the first surgery a waste of time and money. Sometimes, it is best to leave fragile tasks to the experts.
Early Morning
I woke up a few minutes past 5:00am to use the restroom and was certain that I would fall asleep soon after I’d return to my bed. Yet, it never fails. I begin to scroll through messages of family and friends and lose my will to close my eyes again. I continued reading the book, Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho again. I didn’t get to it yesterday, but it was just as interesting from where I left off. It seems to be getting pretty provocative. Yippee!
At 7:00
Well, I checked my temperature again. Nearly an hour later, I had veggies, rice, and yogurt for breakfast with some green tea followed by my meds. The meal was reasonably enjoyable. I had the chance to converse with Aya, the English teacher, and one of her current roommates during that time. I will name that roommate Yurie. We do not get the chance to speak, because of the language barrier, but Aya helps us out.
About Yurie - At Breakfast
Yurie’s story is a bit more complicated than mine. About three years ago, she was working as a sales clerk when she felt a cold coming along. She didn't think much of it until one day; a week or so later her body began shaking relentlessly. She ended up going home from a retail job where she had to remain standing no less than 10 hours. Regrettably, her breaks were very short and seldom. Thus, this could have affected her body to worsen. When she got home, her parents instantly took her to the hospital. After a series of tests, she found out that she had Graves’ disease. It didn’t end there. Yurie began experiencing rapid heart palpitations, which was even more frightening for her and her family. Her condition was serious and had to be treated right away. She was promptly prescribed the same medication that I am currently taking, Merkazolil or in Japanese it is known asメルカゾール (pronounced Merukazoru). While on it, her heart palpitations subsidized closer to a natural pace. Time passed and she ended up needing to remove her entire thyroid. While speaking with her (better yet Aya, the translator), I noticed she had her neck scar covered. It could have just been that she was wearing a high-collar top or the fact that she’s ashamed of her scar and keeps it hidden.
Yurie added that the nurses at the thyroid hospital, where I will be getting my surgery, aren’t as nurturing as the nurses here. That won't be something I will care much about. As long as I am taken care of and have the necessities to return to a normal condition, I will be more than happy.
After surgery, Yurie’s medication changed from Merkazolil to a hormone replacement, which she will have to take for the rest of her life. Why? Well, because the thyroid is what controls the body’s hormones. Without it, many more complications arise. Yurie’s eye complications began prior to surgery and her eyes managed to get bigger, as some patients with hyperthyroidism tend to experience. After a year or two post surgery, she returned to undergo another surgery. At times, other eye problems might surface ensuing the operation to correct any other issues. In cases like these, people’s thoughts about themselves change and their self-esteem may drop in the course of this process.
I am gazing at this experience from an outsider’s point view, not just through familiarity, but also by using an analytical mind set. From what I can see, Yurie is either shy, this sickness has affected her confidence levels or both. She’s only 31 years old and she seems to be such a sweet and innocent woman. It is possible that her self-assurance could have weakened due to these diseases. I do not know her, however, that is the impression that I have gotten. I am no professional, merely cognizant of what I see before me. I can just be assuming as well, which is not good to do. Either way, it was an observation that I wanted to disclose. It was quite nice of her to share her story. On occasion, when I see her, she has one eye patched with gauze in order to help her surgical procedure heal better. Aya also told me that the lines around the red eyes that the two of them have are the stitches that the doctors will have to remove at some point in the future. Now, I can understand what what I saw in Fumiko's eyes. That also brings me to another story Aya shared with me.
In the midst of our breakfast, Aya told me about a lady who underwent eye surgery and had to return to the doctor to get her stitches removed. The lady may have lost her patience and thought it was no big deal to take out her own stitches out. Not sure how she was able to do that, but the outcome wasn’t pretty. I don't like using contacts and to have the guts to remove eye stitches is not even in question. The lady had to return to the hospital for another surgery. I think that was somewhat inconvenient and embarrassing. Both Aya and I thought that doing that to herself just made the first surgery a waste of time and money. Sometimes, it is best to leave fragile tasks to the experts.
My IV for the Day
Like always, a nurse stops by at around half past nine and hooks me up. Friends and family who know me and have seen the veins in my arms, are often aware that they bulge out more than an average person's arms. I may have cinnamon-colored skin, but these veins are apparent. They pop out especially during the warm weather. Anyhow, for the past couple of days, my IV has been placed on my left arm, which is fine and dandy. The same arm was going to receive the IV for the third time today. Nonetheless, the nurse could not manage to insert the needle properly up my poor vein. I thought, “it’s not that painful, but my vein is popping out miss lady so don’t shift too much.” I can be a baby sometimes and it was beginning to feel a bit unpleasant. I speculate my vein didn't stick out as much since she had to switch arms. I’m not the nurse either! In that case, I let it go. She removed the needle, put a Band-Aid on it and situated the IV on my right forearm. It was quick and easy. Thank goodness!
The Eye Injection
Well that time is coming soon. I aim to create no reaction towards this process, hence, it’ll only make my anticipation grow and build in fear. When I think of it, I merely disconnect any moods my mind may try to develop towards it and try to be professional about it. I know that’s tough, but the less I anticipate the feeling it will cause, the better I can deal with it. Either way, let me stop thinking about it and it shall get here when it’s time. Never mind, they’re here!
Wow, this time the procedure went much speedier and better than the last two times. The doctor came in and removed the anesthetic tape, wiped my periorbital area down with an alcohol pad, as usual, and placed the injection. She had angelic hands because even though I felt the pressure, the needle wasn’t shoved in, under the eyeball and scooped up as aggressively as the former doctors have gone about it. Or maybe it had to do with the fact that I haven't been here long enough to judge the experience. It took her about 30 seconds and like magic, it was done. The first words that came out of my mouth were, “Everyday, please come. You have soft hands!” The ladies (the nurse and doctor) laughed knowing that doctors have to shift on a daily basis and I might not see her again for another three or four days. Either way, I am hopeful.
My Analysis for Today
I discerned that today’s injection was more comforting than the previous ones. The moment the steroid liquid was released, she withdrew the needle and placed the alcohol pad to cover the injected area. I held it and about five to ten seconds later, the pain kicked in. It was then that I noticed the aching was more of a burning sensation traveling from the southern part (the periorbital area), around to the northern region. It gave me a slight, but brief headache. I do not know what lava feels like, but from what I have seen on videos, it seems to spread slowly and smoothly. At least that is how I pictured it traveling in my mind. Plus, it had a slight sting and burn to it.
My Roommate
The lady whose bed is directly across from mine has been packing and got dressed. I was not sure if she was going on one of the treatment breaks or if this was her last day. I made a point in asking her (in English of course, because my Japanese needs work!) if today is a break day. She disagrees by expressing that her third course is over. So, she that implies that she has concluded her stay at this hospital. That’s great! Wishing her the best in her recovery.
The 3-Course Treatment
All patients receiving thyroid disease eye treatment here have to complete three courses. Between those courses they can go home if they are on the break program. As I stated before, I chose to stay in the hospital. The three courses allow breaks from IVs even if we stay at the hospital. For instance, I have been on my IV three days now. Starting tomorrow, I will be on a break from receiving the steroid IV until the 17th of this month. That means that I will be off of the IV for four days. However, I will continue having eye injections. What fun!
A few nurses have been speaking with my roommate and checking her sleeping area to make sure that she doesn’t leave anything behind before she heads out. She just gave her good-byes to the rest of us. At first she told me, “See you later” in Japanese, またね (pronounced matanee), which she quickly took back and said がんばって (pronounced gambate) and that stands for good luck! I understand her sudden change of phrases, I wouldn’t want to see her here again either. It’s the hospital for goodness sake!
Back to the Now
On a daily basis, after I get my IV and eye injections, I see a doctor who measures my eyes from the far end corner of one eyeball to the far end corner of the other eyeball. This is to see if there is any difference in the size of my eyeballs since I started here. The doctor said that it is too soon to tell. I have only been here for 3 days. During this medical examination, which is called しんさつ (pronounced Shinsatsu), the doctor has me lay my chin on a machine, she puts a few drops of some yellow eye liquid into the corner of my eyes and wipes it down to avoid any trickling. Later, she turns the machine on and it looks as though the bright blue light that beams onto my eyes is touching my cornea, but it doesn’t. In any case, I can’t really tell since it is uncomfortable to look straight and keep my eyes wide open while the sting of the yellow eye drops cause me to squint a bit.
Shinsatsu Baby!
I also wanted to find out what the nurses say when they call my name over the intercom. I had the chance to ask one of them and she told me, ジェニファー、しんさつです。(pronounced Jennifer, shinsatsu desu). In English that would be: Jennifer, medical examination time. That's good to know, Now, I hope it stays put in my memory.
~Random Thought~
I would like to see some familiar faces this weekend. It should be fun chitchatting it up. It's Friday!
Thinking About Lunch
Lunch should be ready soon. I wonder what will be served. I'm not hungry yet, but I have enough time to think about it and I like taking pictures of it and sharing it with all of you.
Calling Back Home
I received a message from my auntie Clara. She felt she hadn’t heard from me in a long time. It’s been a day. Hilarious, parents always worry. I thank her for keeping me in her thoughts. She asked about my eye injections, because I had expressed how annoying they are. I made her laugh a bit though and that made me feel good, too. She wants me to contact her often since she cannot make it out here from the states.
I also had the chance to speak with my uncle, Juan. He gave me some great news. He is finally going to take his American Citizenship (Naturalization) Test. He has been studying very much and I am extremely proud of him. What 75-year-old man takes the time to study endlessly for a test? I don't know any. I told him to call me everyday. I do not care if I am in this hospital. I want him to feel confident about his answers and pronounce American names with a bit more facility. It is a challenge for him, because he doesn't speak English. His test has been scheduled for October 9th and he is ready, but I want him to feel assertive.
Like always, a nurse stops by at around half past nine and hooks me up. Friends and family who know me and have seen the veins in my arms, are often aware that they bulge out more than an average person's arms. I may have cinnamon-colored skin, but these veins are apparent. They pop out especially during the warm weather. Anyhow, for the past couple of days, my IV has been placed on my left arm, which is fine and dandy. The same arm was going to receive the IV for the third time today. Nonetheless, the nurse could not manage to insert the needle properly up my poor vein. I thought, “it’s not that painful, but my vein is popping out miss lady so don’t shift too much.” I can be a baby sometimes and it was beginning to feel a bit unpleasant. I speculate my vein didn't stick out as much since she had to switch arms. I’m not the nurse either! In that case, I let it go. She removed the needle, put a Band-Aid on it and situated the IV on my right forearm. It was quick and easy. Thank goodness!
The Eye Injection
Well that time is coming soon. I aim to create no reaction towards this process, hence, it’ll only make my anticipation grow and build in fear. When I think of it, I merely disconnect any moods my mind may try to develop towards it and try to be professional about it. I know that’s tough, but the less I anticipate the feeling it will cause, the better I can deal with it. Either way, let me stop thinking about it and it shall get here when it’s time. Never mind, they’re here!
Wow, this time the procedure went much speedier and better than the last two times. The doctor came in and removed the anesthetic tape, wiped my periorbital area down with an alcohol pad, as usual, and placed the injection. She had angelic hands because even though I felt the pressure, the needle wasn’t shoved in, under the eyeball and scooped up as aggressively as the former doctors have gone about it. Or maybe it had to do with the fact that I haven't been here long enough to judge the experience. It took her about 30 seconds and like magic, it was done. The first words that came out of my mouth were, “Everyday, please come. You have soft hands!” The ladies (the nurse and doctor) laughed knowing that doctors have to shift on a daily basis and I might not see her again for another three or four days. Either way, I am hopeful.
My Analysis for Today
I discerned that today’s injection was more comforting than the previous ones. The moment the steroid liquid was released, she withdrew the needle and placed the alcohol pad to cover the injected area. I held it and about five to ten seconds later, the pain kicked in. It was then that I noticed the aching was more of a burning sensation traveling from the southern part (the periorbital area), around to the northern region. It gave me a slight, but brief headache. I do not know what lava feels like, but from what I have seen on videos, it seems to spread slowly and smoothly. At least that is how I pictured it traveling in my mind. Plus, it had a slight sting and burn to it.
My Roommate
The lady whose bed is directly across from mine has been packing and got dressed. I was not sure if she was going on one of the treatment breaks or if this was her last day. I made a point in asking her (in English of course, because my Japanese needs work!) if today is a break day. She disagrees by expressing that her third course is over. So, she that implies that she has concluded her stay at this hospital. That’s great! Wishing her the best in her recovery.
The 3-Course Treatment
All patients receiving thyroid disease eye treatment here have to complete three courses. Between those courses they can go home if they are on the break program. As I stated before, I chose to stay in the hospital. The three courses allow breaks from IVs even if we stay at the hospital. For instance, I have been on my IV three days now. Starting tomorrow, I will be on a break from receiving the steroid IV until the 17th of this month. That means that I will be off of the IV for four days. However, I will continue having eye injections. What fun!
A few nurses have been speaking with my roommate and checking her sleeping area to make sure that she doesn’t leave anything behind before she heads out. She just gave her good-byes to the rest of us. At first she told me, “See you later” in Japanese, またね (pronounced matanee), which she quickly took back and said がんばって (pronounced gambate) and that stands for good luck! I understand her sudden change of phrases, I wouldn’t want to see her here again either. It’s the hospital for goodness sake!
Back to the Now
On a daily basis, after I get my IV and eye injections, I see a doctor who measures my eyes from the far end corner of one eyeball to the far end corner of the other eyeball. This is to see if there is any difference in the size of my eyeballs since I started here. The doctor said that it is too soon to tell. I have only been here for 3 days. During this medical examination, which is called しんさつ (pronounced Shinsatsu), the doctor has me lay my chin on a machine, she puts a few drops of some yellow eye liquid into the corner of my eyes and wipes it down to avoid any trickling. Later, she turns the machine on and it looks as though the bright blue light that beams onto my eyes is touching my cornea, but it doesn’t. In any case, I can’t really tell since it is uncomfortable to look straight and keep my eyes wide open while the sting of the yellow eye drops cause me to squint a bit.
Shinsatsu Baby!
I also wanted to find out what the nurses say when they call my name over the intercom. I had the chance to ask one of them and she told me, ジェニファー、しんさつです。(pronounced Jennifer, shinsatsu desu). In English that would be: Jennifer, medical examination time. That's good to know, Now, I hope it stays put in my memory.
~Random Thought~
I would like to see some familiar faces this weekend. It should be fun chitchatting it up. It's Friday!
Thinking About Lunch
Lunch should be ready soon. I wonder what will be served. I'm not hungry yet, but I have enough time to think about it and I like taking pictures of it and sharing it with all of you.
Calling Back Home
I received a message from my auntie Clara. She felt she hadn’t heard from me in a long time. It’s been a day. Hilarious, parents always worry. I thank her for keeping me in her thoughts. She asked about my eye injections, because I had expressed how annoying they are. I made her laugh a bit though and that made me feel good, too. She wants me to contact her often since she cannot make it out here from the states.
I also had the chance to speak with my uncle, Juan. He gave me some great news. He is finally going to take his American Citizenship (Naturalization) Test. He has been studying very much and I am extremely proud of him. What 75-year-old man takes the time to study endlessly for a test? I don't know any. I told him to call me everyday. I do not care if I am in this hospital. I want him to feel confident about his answers and pronounce American names with a bit more facility. It is a challenge for him, because he doesn't speak English. His test has been scheduled for October 9th and he is ready, but I want him to feel assertive.
Lunch
Lunch was pretty good today. It was rather different from the previous lunches. This time we had noodles with tomato and some greens including pickled cucumbers. In a separate bowl, there was a tasty sauce that I had to pour into the noodles once I was ready to eat it. I also had a side dish with oriental radish. I ended my meal with a frozen yogurt that tasted like ice cream. It was all yummy and my tummy is happy.
Attempting a Conversation
Most of the time when the nurses enter the room to see a patient, they always see me typing. One of them was curious about it. I tried to tell her about my diary. I used some Japanese words and although I did not allocate them correctly, I think she understood what I was making an effort to say. Japanese people usually make a sound like this, 'Eeeeeeh,' to insinuate that they get the gist or to refer to ‘wow!’ or ‘really!’ I looked up some words in my English/Japanese phone dictionary and tried to get my point across. I conveyed that the reason why I am writing this diary about my experience here is because I want my family and friends who cannot visit me to have an idea about what I am going through. She thought it was neat.
It Occurred to Me!
I was looking up online for complications hyperthyroid patients may encounter if they are completely missing their thyroid, but what I found out was a bit more clarity on why I have this problem. Thyroid disease does not run in my family and that is mainly because we do not add soy to our dishes or at least most of them anyway. The moment I moved to Japan, I took advantage of that. I began eating more and more Japanese dishes and a large number of them include soy. Although, I was told that this disease is an autoimmune problem, I do not fully believe that. I never consumed so much soy as opposed to now. That has just opened my eyes to the reality of this situation. From now on, I’m keeping away from soy as much as I can. Hopefully, from now until February, which is when I am scheduled to undergo surgery. I will refrain from eating soy as much as possible, if not, for good. That’s my challenge. No soy for the next four months! Do you dare me? I am daring myself and looking forward to beating this bully out of my system. I'm determined!
Everyday is a bit different at this hospital even if I have a routine. I feel relaxed here. Now that I have written three diary entries in English, it is only fair to translate them into Spanish so that some of my monolingual Spanish-speaking family members and friends can read them. Let me begin with that and hopefully continue reading Eleven Minutes. Hasta la vista, baby!
Lunch was pretty good today. It was rather different from the previous lunches. This time we had noodles with tomato and some greens including pickled cucumbers. In a separate bowl, there was a tasty sauce that I had to pour into the noodles once I was ready to eat it. I also had a side dish with oriental radish. I ended my meal with a frozen yogurt that tasted like ice cream. It was all yummy and my tummy is happy.
Attempting a Conversation
Most of the time when the nurses enter the room to see a patient, they always see me typing. One of them was curious about it. I tried to tell her about my diary. I used some Japanese words and although I did not allocate them correctly, I think she understood what I was making an effort to say. Japanese people usually make a sound like this, 'Eeeeeeh,' to insinuate that they get the gist or to refer to ‘wow!’ or ‘really!’ I looked up some words in my English/Japanese phone dictionary and tried to get my point across. I conveyed that the reason why I am writing this diary about my experience here is because I want my family and friends who cannot visit me to have an idea about what I am going through. She thought it was neat.
It Occurred to Me!
I was looking up online for complications hyperthyroid patients may encounter if they are completely missing their thyroid, but what I found out was a bit more clarity on why I have this problem. Thyroid disease does not run in my family and that is mainly because we do not add soy to our dishes or at least most of them anyway. The moment I moved to Japan, I took advantage of that. I began eating more and more Japanese dishes and a large number of them include soy. Although, I was told that this disease is an autoimmune problem, I do not fully believe that. I never consumed so much soy as opposed to now. That has just opened my eyes to the reality of this situation. From now on, I’m keeping away from soy as much as I can. Hopefully, from now until February, which is when I am scheduled to undergo surgery. I will refrain from eating soy as much as possible, if not, for good. That’s my challenge. No soy for the next four months! Do you dare me? I am daring myself and looking forward to beating this bully out of my system. I'm determined!
Everyday is a bit different at this hospital even if I have a routine. I feel relaxed here. Now that I have written three diary entries in English, it is only fair to translate them into Spanish so that some of my monolingual Spanish-speaking family members and friends can read them. Let me begin with that and hopefully continue reading Eleven Minutes. Hasta la vista, baby!